


I'm Still Reeling From the Loss

by katayla



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Episode Related, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-29
Updated: 2008-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-04 18:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katayla/pseuds/katayla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens after "Shelter Island." Ted focused, but everyone gets to play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Still Reeling From the Loss

_The night after Stella dumped Ted_

"I hate women!" Ted gulped down the rest of his beer and climbed on the table. "I HATE WOMEN! I hate you and you and you!" He started pointing at every woman in the bar (and a few men with long hair.) Even Lily and Robin weren't immune from his glare.

Wendy the Waitress rushed over to the table. "Get him down from there!"

"Give him a break, Wendy," Marshall said. "He was just dumped at the altar."

"He's scaring off customers," Wendy said. "And he's going to hurt himself."

"Wendy!" Ted shouted. "You're the only woman I don't hate! You bring me beer!"

"Guys, get him out of here," Wendy said. "Just take him upstairs."

"We're all moved out," Lily said. "There isn't even a bed."

"I don't need a bed!" Ted shouted. "I don't need stuff! All I need is more beer!" He dumped the rest of his glass onto the table. "See? All out!"

"Okay." Marshall stood up. "You can come home with us, Ted." He reached for Ted's hand, but Ted batted it away.

"Don't want to go! You know where I was supposed to be tonight? My _honeymoon_." Ted sat down hard, juggling the table so much that Barney's drink fell over. "Why'd she do it?" He looked over at Lily. "Why?"

She rubbed his arm. "I don't know, sweetie."

"Maybe all women really are evil," Marshall said, and mouthed "Sorry" to Lily.

"Come on, Ted," Lily said, pulling on his hand. "Let's get out of here."

Marshall put his arm around Ted's shoulder. "Good thing we have that second bedroom, right?"

Barney and Robin stood up, too. "We'll help you," Barney said.

And Ted walked out of the bar, on the night that was to be his honeymoon, supported by his friends.

_One week after Stella dumped him_

Ted stood on the porch of the house that was supposed to be his home and waited for the woman who was supposed to be his wife to open the door. When she did, his first thought was how beautiful she was. His second was that he'd never hated anyone so much in his life.

"Nice beard," Stella said, and then her gaze flickered behind him, to where Robin, Barney, Lily and Marshall were standing together. "You guys here to gang up on me?"

Robin crossed her arms. "We're here for moral support."

"Look, Ted, can we talk?" Stella asked.

"I just want my stuff."

"Ted, I really did love you, but Tony and I have a history and--"

"He doesn't want to hear it," Lily said.

"Yeah!" Marshall leaned forward and glared at her. "So let us in, we'll get his stuff, and then we'll never have to see you again."

Stella sighed. "Fine." She stepped back, so they could pass her.

"And, remember," Barney said, as he walked by her. "I know people. We better be able find every single item Ted brought here or you're going down."

_One month after she dumped him_

"Just because I shaved the breakup beard off doesn't mean I'm ready to go home with some random chick," Ted said.

"She's not random!" Barney said. "Her name is Annie. She just turned 21 and it's her first time in the city. Easy pickings! You won't even have to work hard."

"Then why don't _you_ sleep with her?"

"Ted, this is my gift to you. As your best friend--"

"You're not my--"

"--it is my duty to get you laid, to drive out all memories of what's-her-name."

"Stella."

"Ted! Do you not remember the vote? That name has been banned from all conversation."

"Fine," Ted said. "But I'm not ready for another relationship."

"That's why Annie is so perfect! She'll get drunk, you'll sleep with her, and never see her again."

"Maybe that's your answer to everything, but Stella--okay, okay! She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wasn't a normal break-up. We were going to get _married_. That can't be cured by a one night stand."

"Everything can be cured with a one night stand."

"I'm not sleeping with her!"

He didn't, but he did make out with her in the bathroom. He wasn't going to tell Barney, but it made him feel a little better.

_Three months after she dumped him_

It was a normal night at MacClaren's until Ted realized Barney was in love with Robin. It all fell into place. How few girls Barney hit on these days, the way he laughed too hard and too long at Robin's jokes, it all made perfect sense. And it was going to ruin _everything_. Marshall and Lily were already married and having babies, and now Barney and Robin would follow their lead. They'd forget all their phobias about marriage and kids, and, before too long, it would be Marshall&amp;Lily and Barney&amp;Robin and they wouldn't think of him at all, except for brief times when they remembered the guy they all hung out with back when they were young and carefree.

And Ted would never get married at all because there were _clearly_ no women in the world for him. Not if, of the last two women he loved, one left him on their wedding day, and the other was destined to be with his (second) best friend. No. Ted Mosby was going to live the rest of his life alone.

_Six months after she dumped him_

Robin stumbled over her words as she told Ted she was in love with Barney. "I don't--It doesn't mean-- it's _Barney_. And me. There's no way it'll last."

But as Ted watched her blush, and remembered the expression Barney's eyes now permanently carried, he was pretty sure it would work. They'd travel together and probably spoil Lily and Marshall's kid rotten. And they'd tell Ted about their adventures and he'd be a little envious, but he'd know that their life, this woman, wasn't for him.

And if Barney Stinson had a soulmate (Ted reminded himself not to use that word in either Barney or Robin's presence), then surely Ted Mosby did, too. He would find her.

_One year after she dumped him_

"Come on, Ted!" Robin said. "She's really nice and I'm sure you'd like her."

"In what bizzaro world do you set me up on blind dates?" Ted asked.

"Barney and I will be there, too!"

"A world in which you and Barney go on double dates. I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the apocalypse."

Robin sighed. "She doesn't know anyone in the city yet, and you haven't been on a date in a really long time. Please, Ted?"

Ted groaned. "I don't know . . . ."

"I promise, if it sucks, Barney and I will think of some kind of emergency to get you out of there."

"Maybe we can work out some kind of signal?"

"Yes! I knew you'd do it!"

Ted's blind date only said ten words that night, but two of them were "yellow umbrella."

_One month after meeting her_

At first Ted tried to compare her to Stella, to Robin, to other girlfriends in his past. But eventually he gave up because she was just herself. His wonderful girlfriend who would stay up all night to finish reading a book and who spent five hours on the phone convincing her little brother not to drop out of college. Who once dressed up as Princess Leia for Halloween (not _that_ costume, she was quick to clarify). She still blushed sometimes when Barney made lewd comments, but she laughed at every one of Marshall's jokes and went shopping with Robin and Lily. She made him chocolate chip cookies when he had to fire someone at work and he ate every one of them, even the burnt ones.

Ted had learned his lesson and knew it was too soon to tell her, but he loved her.

_Ten months after meeting her_

Ted told his friends he was going to propose and waited for the protests, the "Ted you're moving too fast" complaints, but, instead, Lily squealed and Barney pumped his fist in the air.

"I told you so!" Barney yelled. "Marshall, you owe me fifty bucks. Scherbatsky, you owe me--"

"We'll settle up later," Robin said.

"Yeah, we will."

"How are you going to propose?" Marshall asked. "Ooh, you should hire a blimp that reads 'Will you marry me?' and fly it over her apartment."

"No, that's lame," Barney said. "What you should do is a hire a bunch of guys to pretend to mug her, and then when you rescue her, she'll be so grateful that she'll _have_ to say yes."

"Barney!" Robin said. "She loves him. He doesn't have to trick her into it."

"I'm just saying a little guarantee never hurt anyone."

"Save it for when you propose," Ted said.

Barney choked on his scotch. "Me? Propose?"

"You guys _are_ a bit inseparable these days," Lily said, nodding at Robin's hand on Barney's arm.

Robin rolled her eyes. "We quite enjoy living in sin, thank you very much."

"What up!" Barney said, and high fived, then kissed Robin.

"Hey, hey," Ted said. "Back to me! Guy who's proposing?"

"Do you have a ring?" Lily asked.

Ted took a quick glance around the bar and then reached into his pocket. "I bought it last night."

"Ooh, pretty," Lily said, taking the box from his hand, and holding it next to her own ring.

"I approve," Barney said.

"So, how are you going to propose?" Marshall asked again.

"I'm not sure yet," Ted said. "But I want to it to be perfect."

"How about--?" Barney started.

"I'm not going to do anything you suggest, Barney."

"I'm sure whatever you come up with will be wonderful," Robin said.

"Our little boy is growing up!" Marshall said, hugging Lily.

The rest of the evening was lost amidst drinks and loud celebration. Lily and Marshall left first, followed by Barney and Robin, and, watching his friends depart in pairs, Ted realized that everything was finally, perfectly in place, and he didn't want to wait another second. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Hey, I know it's late, but can I come over?"

_Twenty years after meeting her_

"Are you done yet?" Ted's son asked.

"Yeah, I have homework," his daughter said.

"I'm just getting to the good part," Ted said (and tried to ignore the eyerolls his children exchanged). "My memories of the days after Stella dumped me are a little fuzzy, but I do remember standing on the table at MacClaren's and shouting 'I hate women!' . . . ."


End file.
